The Samson Antitheses

Story 1: Once upon a time there was a 12 year old boy who liked to play basketball. However, lately he had been in a shooting slump, making only one or two baskets each game. One day his mother noticed that his hair was not only getting long, but rather lank. "When was the last time you washed your hair?" she asked. When the boy told her, "Three days ago," and she thought of all the sweaty practices and hat hair that had happened in that time, she said, "Ew, gross." So the mother got out her clippers and cut off all but half an inch of the boy's hair. That very same day, the boy played in three basketball games against (supposedly) more skilled teams. In the first game, the boy made 3 three-pointers, and the team won 52-39. In the next game, the boy scored 8 points, and the team won 45-21. In the third game, the boy scored another 8 points and the team won 45-18. And in the last game the next day, the boy scored 7 points, and the team won the championship 41-26. As was the custom of certain family members of her generation, the mother took all the credit for the victories. And everyone rejoiced.

Story 2: Once upon a time there was a kind, humble woman who did not cut her hair for 30 years. In that time, she raised a family and did many good deeds, and they all prospered. Then one day the woman decided she was sick and tired of long hair and wanted to get it cut. Members of her family expressed fear and trepidition that cutting her hair would bring great suffering...to them. Not being one to make a hasty decision, the woman thought about the haircut for 10 more years. Finally, she became fed up and ordered that her hair be cut. And it was good. The world did not end, and the woman has not run off to Las Vegas to be a showgirl... yet.